Sometimes CHANGE can be good. Like if you get a new car, or replace the ugly sofa with a awesome comfy down filled one from the Pottery Barn that you've been dreaming about for a while now....
But then sometimes CHANGE can be bad, really bad, like going on in life without your Mother.
Today I was able to go to my Mom's house for the first time since she passed away. Aside from a few paint updates and new curtains, it was the same as the last time I was there in 2007. The front door made the familiar squeeky push in against the tiled kitchen floor as I went in, just like all the other hundreds of time before. Her copper collection still greeted you as you walked in...the dining room still displayed her snowmen and behind the glass of the hutches still waited the music boxes and nic nacs. Room by room had that comforting familiarity that I so was longing for...Mom's fingerprint.
As I walked throughout the house and around the yard there was the awful awareness that hit me "MOM IS NOT HERE". Things may still be where I knew they would be, and I could sit at the dining room table and wait for her to come and sit and have coffee with me, but no matter what I did things would never be the same, something had changed.
I do not like change; but I especially do not like the CHANGE that takes away.
I am praying for you, my friend. I know I can only give you words right now... and they probably don't help much. However, I am praying for your strength and comfort every day. I love and miss you.
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