Saying Goodbye and going on a Road Trip

This afternoon we buried our Mother.  She did not want a big "to-do" and so we met at the cemetary, which was really nice as far as cemetary's go...small green rolling hills and lots of trees.  There was a small tent set up with red velvet covered chairs..and so we gathered together to say goodbye.  One by one Josh, Mel, Jeff, Jen, Adara, Cassie, Laurel, Pat and I took a small shovel full of black dirt and said our goodbyes and kind words  as we buried her ashes.  I felt as if it was the way she wanted it, I believe we honored her wishes. 

My brother and his fiance will be married in Florida next Thursday.  Sometime early Saturday morning I will be heading out with my sister, her husband and thier 3 little girls on a road trip to Orlando.  We will be stopping in Georiga to visit some family and staying there overnight; and then we should arrive to the condo sometime on Sunday.  Cal flies in on Tuesday night and I am counting down the days! "4" to go!

Mom would be happy to know we are planning on having a good time, and that we will all

 be together.  I am looking forward to sharing Disney World with Calvin for his very first time. 

 I know this is gonna be a trip to remember!!!

Thankful

Today is Thanksgiving. 

There are so many things to be thankful for...God has been so very good to me.  I was thinking about how blessed I am and how happy I am that God has given me such a wonderful husband.  He has been such a good friend and such a great support to me during this difficult time, and I am so THANKFUL for him.

Oh My Goodness....

Even though there has been such sadness due to losing our Mother, Friend, & Grandmother, we are still finding the goodness and joy of being with the eachother.  Mom would not have wanted our lives to end because hers did, she would want us to laugh and enjoy one another, and so we are.

Mel, Cassie, & Adara all snuggled up!

Playing in Grandma's yard...

Uncle Bear & Adara up on the roof!

Playing the kids version of Apples to Apples, love Cassie's face!

Cassie, Laurel, & Adara making Christmas cookies...

Joe

Thank you for coming to be with me during this time Joe.

I love you!!!

Change

Sometimes CHANGE can be good.  Like if you get a new car, or replace the ugly sofa with a awesome comfy down filled one from the Pottery Barn that you've been dreaming about for a while now....

But then sometimes CHANGE can be bad, really bad, like going on in life without your Mother. 

Today I was able to go to my Mom's house for the first time since she passed away.  Aside from a few paint updates and new curtains, it was the same as the last time I was there in 2007.  The front door made the familiar squeeky push in against the tiled kitchen floor as I went in, just like all the other hundreds of time before.  Her copper collection still greeted you as you walked in...the dining room still displayed her snowmen and behind the glass of the hutches still waited the music boxes and nic nacs.  Room by room had that comforting familiarity that I so was longing for...Mom's fingerprint.

As I walked throughout the house and around the yard there was the awful awareness that hit me "MOM IS NOT HERE".  Things may still be where I knew they would be, and I could sit at the dining room table and wait for her to come and sit and have coffee with me, but no matter what I did things would never be the same, something had changed.

I do not like change; but I especially do not like the CHANGE that takes away.

Trusting

I am not sure why things happen the way they do sometimes.  I know that I am a child of God, and that being His child He has my best interests at heart.  My prayer today was that I would make it to Michigan in time to see my Mother before she passed away....

I checked in for my flight, kissed Cal goodbye and went into Customs to fill out my card....when I heard my name being called.  I turned to see Cal and I went over to him....in just this short span of time, my sister had called to tell him my Mom had died.

My heart felt like it broke into a million pieces.  My Mother is gone.  Her wish was to not have a funeral and she wanted to be cremated...which means by the time I get to Michigan there will be nothing for me to touch...

But left is my brother and sister and I will be there for them, and us for eachother.  Most importantly I know God will comfort me like none other can.  For now I will just focus on getting through this day and let Him help me take one step at a time.

Praying

Today I am going home to Michigan to see my Mother.  She has been fighting cancer....but her fight is almost over.  My sister called me late last night to tell me something was wrong and they were taking her to the hospital.  When I called this morning I found out that she is slipping away.  I have been through many hard things in my life, but I have not felt the loss of a parent before, and the pain is so strange...I feel like a child in my heart.  I am almost 40 yrs old, but I feel like a child who doesn't know what to do....and yet, I know that my FATHER is with me and He will help me through these dark hours and days ahead. 

My flight will not get into Detroit until around 10pm, and the drive to Lansing will have me there very late; but my prayer is that God will keep her here on this earth till I can see her, touch her, kiss her and tell her that I love her.  Please, if you are reading my post today, pray that with me.

Psalm 113:3

Update

I finally copied the photos I wanted to use for my Time in a Bottle display.  I wish I had a better camera so that the bottles looked as good here as they do in person...but you get the idea.  I have a few changes I want to make; some original pictures are actually in the bottles, and I think that looks best, so I plan to take the other ones and have copies made at a photography shop and then replace the paper copied ones with them.  I also want to use some of Cal's old pictures but he really doesn't have much to choose from.  He did find two, so I will have to decide which one to use.....and I was hoping to have a nice one of his parents, but the only one he has is small...Oh well...use what you can right?  I think it would be nice for him to see his history around him as well as mine.  I love old black and white photos...they just have something about them.

Here is a closer look at how the pictures look inside the bottles with the candle light in the background.

I love the picture of my Mom..it fits so perfectly in the center of the little bottle.

I just had to include another picture of my pal Max....here he is sleeping away in the living room on a cold November evening.  I got the red & white pillow for $3.99 at Value Village.  It is originally from the Pottery Barn and was definately a deal!  I love junk shopping, you never know what you will find.

Crafty

I came across the neatest little decorating idea the other day.  Using old glass bottles, vintage photos and tea lights.  Made a trip to one of my favorite novelty shops in Okotoks and found six obliging glass bottles.  I gave them a bath in vinegar water for two days and so they are nice and clean, yet have just a remembrance of the past with them.  In the next few days I will put it all together and show the results.  I love creativity!

Bliss

My husband gets up early for work, and I usually just curl up tighter in the warm covers as I bid him farwell....but on this one particular morning I couldn't fall back alseep so I got out of bed and stumbled my way to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee.  To my delight I was treated to a spectacular sunrise.  Makes me wonder how many of these I have missed while snoozing away the dawn.

In other matters of BLISS, here is Max enjoying the Land of Nod.  He really truly is a kindred spirit, even if he is just a cat.